I try to work on the laptop in my mom's room as much as possible to keep her company, but half the time it doesn't work. Tonight I've put on Gone with the Wind, changed her diaper, fed her via her feeding tube, rinsed her mouth, taken her blood pressure, elevated her feet, turned off the fan and now am returning business emails as she watches her video. There's no way I'm going to be able to work, so I decide to just document what happens in the span of 10 minutes. A slice of caretaker life as it were. Bizarre, but oh so true.
This is how tonight sounds.
"Maite, Maite, don't be a bad daughter, come here, come here, I'm hot. Take these blankets off me. You can take them off yourself. Why are you so bad, MaiteMaiteMaite, come here, I'm hot, take them off, I'm dying, I'm hot, turn on the fan. I can't take these blankets off, there's too many. Take off the red one, the red one, the blue one, the blue one. I'm suffocating. Turn on the fan".
I get up turn on the fan, take her blankets off. Two minutes go by.
"Maite, Maite, Maite, come here, help me, I'm freezing. Turn off the fan, I'm cold, very cold. Is the air on? Why is it so cold? Are you listening to me? Maite!! Please, in the name of God, help me. Call someone to help me. Jerod! Beatriz! Dennis! Juan! Maite!
I get up turn off the fan, sit back at computer.
"Maite call Jerod so he'll help me lower the bed. JEROD!! It's too high, lower it. The bathroom door is open. Look, look. Why did you leave it open? Close it, close it."
I get up close bathroom door. 30 seconds go by.
"Maite, Maite, I'm thirsty, very thirsty. I need water or wine, but not the one that's here. It's hot and thick. What is that? I don't like it. I need fresh water, cold water. Not in that plastic thing. I want a glass. And Ice. And some wine. Rosé. Do you have wine?"
"Maite, listen to me. Maite, help me. I'm peeing. Help me, don't be a bad daughter. Maite come here, please, give me a kiss. Dennis! Beatriz! Juan!"
I get up check her diaper. Dry. Sit down again.
"That statue is going to break there. Maite, that statue is going to break there. You need to move it. Look, look, it's about to fall. MAITE!!! Hurry, move it, don't you hear me. Get up, get up and move it. Somewhere safe, over there, over there."
I move the porcelain figurine. Sit down.
"I need a kiss, give me a kiss. Call Jerod. I want a kiss from him. Jerod, Jerod!!
Call him, Maite. Oh my God, I'm choking, I'm choking. Water, give me water. Maite!! Help me, I'm choking, I need water. I can't breathe. Please, I beg you, help me." For the sake of you mother, which is me, help me!!!"
I get up. She isn't choking, but I prop her up and tell her to breathe deeply while I try to do the same. Jerod arrives and innocently enters the room.
" Jerod, put the bed down. Tell me a story. Little Red Riding Hood. Do you know that story? Sleep in that bed next to me tonight. Maite said she is going to sleep there. Give me you're hands. Oh my God, They're so rough, you need some lotion."
I see an opportunity. Abandoning the laptop and even the cell phone, I get the hell out of there while I have the chance.
"Jerod, put the bed up. It's too low, Jerod. Jerod, I love you. Where's Maite? Call Maite. Jerod gave me a kiss. Maite, Maite, I'm hungry, give me something to eat. MAITE!!!!! For God's sake, tell me the story of Little Red Riding Hood!!"
As they say in the theatre, end scene.
Commentaires